I am scared.Įpiphora: It feels like an intrusion. When you have this, I’m just trying to thrust with my pussy and see if it works.Įpiphora: Piph on top riding Realdoe. (both laugh) ‘Cause when you have a strap-on you’re thrusting with your pelvis.
Kynan: All I’m trying to do is keep it inside my body, which makes it hard to thrust when it’s just like, I can’t thrust with my vagina. It’s just, the pubic bone is like, “no, can you not?” Kynan: We might have both hated it, but I remember you specifically were like, “end it now” when I was on top of you.Įpiphora: Yep, you’re in the right place, just keep pushin’… oh my god…Įpiphora: It’s fine. I remember you hated this one when I was fucking you with it.Įpiphora: I think you hated this one. Kynan: So the Welsh word for the language Welsh is “Cymraeg.” And every time I think cum rag now I think. It’s doing bad things to my pubic bone.Įpiphora: Thanks, cum rag. Kynan: Ew, the head shape is terrible on this. Kynan: And the person on top is like, “I thought was going to be the one being pleasured!”
See that’s why, when you’re on the bottom, and you’re the one wearing it, you’re like, “this is fine, I like this.” Kynan: See? Is it against your clit there?Įpiphora: Yeah. Can I just have that? ‘Cause that’s nice. Ky on top.Įpiphora: Ky on top! The aerial position?Įpiphora: Oh, see, that’s nice. Kynan: Piph is lying down and I’m on top. I’m basically a mermaid now, with a dick. Kynan: I either have to prop myself all the way up on my arms, or I have to lie on you, because I can’t brace myself with my legs when they’re together. Kynan: Well, I mean, I just got punched in the cervix. No access right now.Įpiphora: Oh my god, your face looked like you just got shocked. (both laugh)Įpiphora: Closed for construction. I’m sorry.Įpiphora: Ah! It’s on a pattern, why!? No.Įpiphora: So not acrobatic enough for this.Įpiphora: It’s falling out and I’m on bottom! Do I have to fucking close my legs, is that it? Tango on Tango.Įpiphora: But how am I supposed to fuck you like this?Įpiphora: I have to let go, I’m sorry. Piph wearing the Tango.Įpiphora: With the Tango in the Tango. Note: Kynan has a vulva and uses he/him pronouns. It was such a perfect encapsulation of our tribulations that I edited the hour-long file down to the best, silliest 5 minutes just for you: On another occasion, to avoid having to decipher handwritten notes, we tape-recorded the session with my phone. Like consummate professionals, we spent hours having mediocre sex, pausing frequently to take borderline-illegible notes in a notebook. He’d already suffered enough for my reviews.
In bed with Kynan, staring at the spread before us, I realized, who really wants to have such scientific sex? I don’t mind lining up dildos for a tasting flight when I’m alone, but I felt bad roping poor Ky into it. I went in optimistic, but that didn’t last long. So I rounded up several strapless strap-on dildos: the ShareVibe, Tantus Feeldoe More, Fuze Tango, and Tantus Realdoe Stout. It was time, I decided, to see if this type of toy could work for my partner Kynan and I. Now with rechargeable bullet vibe in the base! Creepy bandaid color option! A shape that looks either genius or hella uncomfortable!? One of the more recent additions to the category is the ShareVibe, a re-imagining of Fun Factory’s original Share. Even the bigwig manufacturers - Doc Johnson, Cal Exotics, Swan - are getting in on the action. Now, many sex toy peddlers have released their own strapless strap-ons: Vixen, Fun Factory, Fuze, Wet for Her. Seducing you is your partner’s job, not ours!” My favorite quote: “We don’t supply any pictures of naked people. For some good old-fashioned fun, I highly recommend poking around the inventor’s website, which is very gay, delightfully outdated, and laden with clipart and GIFs. The “strapless strap-on” category of sex toy didn’t exist until a crafty lesbian developed and patented the design of the Feeldoe, which she brought to Tantus for production in the early ’00s. It’s tempting to don rose-colored glasses when considering these toys. Bodies can get closer, the toy is more integrated to sex, and partners feel more connected. These double-ended toys have a bulb end for the wearer to insert, and a shaft end with which to penetrate the receiver. Strapless strap-on dildos attempt to eliminate the harness aspect altogether. (I love labia, all labia, labia forever - so I will take literally any chance to ogle them.) For me, the pleasure comes from wielding a cock, achieving ideal positioning and thrusting, and watching myself plunge into the depths of an orifice.
I’ve never felt like strap-on sex wasn’t “intimate” enough, or like I needed extra genital stimulation in order to enjoy it. I have my Joque harness, I have well-loved strap-on dildos, and I am comfortable combining those things and fucking someone silly. I’ve never thought strapless strap-on dildos were the second coming of Christ.
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